Written by Maria Hartl, Senior Technical Specialist - Gender and Social Equity, IFAD/PTA
Have you ever heard about
gaslighting? You are not alone if you wonder what it has to do with gender-based
violence. None of the participants in a lunchtime
seminar organized by PTA and the IFAD medical team on “violence is everyone’s
problem” knew that the term explains
what is happening in abusive relationships.
The seminar took place
under the umbrella of the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence Campaign. This global campaign to raise
awareness about gender-based violence and respect of human rights started on
the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women (25
November) and runs until Human Rights Day (10 December). Dr Flavia Donati (staff counsellor), Kim Harvey (IFAD Nurse) and Dr Hayford Etteh (medical
adviser) advised staff how to recognize symptoms
of gender-based violence and how to act and react.
According to Dr Flavia Donati, gaslighting
describes a form of psychological abuse where a victim is manipulated into
insanity, doubting memory and perception. It goes back to the 1944 Hitchcock thriller
Gaslight, which was adapted from Patrick Hamilton's 1938
novel. There a husband slowly
manipulates his wife into believing that she is going insane. He is dimming the
lights which were powered by gas, then denying that the lights have changed
when the wife wonders what is going on. Gaslighting usually happens gradually in
a relationship and may seem harmless at first. Abuse can be physical and psychological. One
partner is driving the other slowly but steadily into a confused state of mind,
where the victim does not know anymore what is right or wrong. This leads to isolation, disorientation,
depression and fragility. The victim
starts to doubt about perceptions and feelings, feels trapped and cannot talk
about it. He or she starts to feel
ashamed because she cannot leave the perpetrator and also tries to protect the
aggressor.
What can we do if we see a close friend, family member or colleague
showing symptoms of gaslighting? The most
important thing is to listen, show compassion and tell them where to get help.
We should not try to give advice about what to do. What help would it be to say “Just leave“ if we don’t know what is really going on in
the relationship? It is
important to understand that the victim cannot change the perpetrator, only his
or her own behaviour and attitude towards the abuser. Kim Harvey (IFAD Nurse)
shared a poster by the medical service with useful addresses and phone numbers of
where to get help. It will be posted at
various locations in IFAD.
Mame Adama Diagne, Director of Ethics said that IFAD as an
organization had a responsibility to care for its staff and prevent abuse. Dr Hayford Etteh (medical adviser) highlighed how
important it was to involve more men who are not only perpetrators, but also
victims of violence.
Participants also discussed how gender-based violence women is a
global phenomenon that knows no borders.
It can affect rich and poor and occur at any stage in our lives. We may
witness it ourselves, or with our loved ones,
our sisters, mothers, wives, partners, daughters, friends and
colleagues. Most important is not to
let it happen! We invite all to support
the 16 Days of
Activism against Gender-Based Violence Campaign.